I have to admit something.. I've been struggling. I don't know what it is but my desire to run is gone and I seem to find every excuse to not do it. I am still running about three times a week and working out about three times a week but that intensity that I used to have, it's not there. It's hard for me to write this because I don't know who is going to read it and with me being a personal trainer and motivator I feel like I am not supposed to have these issues. But we're all human and we all struggle.

Honestly, the time when I worked out the most was personally for me a very hard time in my life. I used running and working out as a coping mechanism. But now I'm happy in my personal life and I'm unhappy in my physical fitness life. Why is that? Why can't I have both. It's absurd to say but when I used to run I would think about problems in my life and then I would let them all slip away and I would feel free. Now.. I'm just happy. I have a few things here and there that I can ponder on while running but not too much. I know it's stupid that I'm complaining about having no issues in my life from which I need to escape from because that's a GREAT thing to have. What I hate is that I've put on weight and I can't seem to take it off. Fat and Happy? I guess I am for now. I keep signing up for races hoping that they will motivate me but instead they seem impossible.

My performance in the marathon hurt my pride and I'm trying to bounce back from that. EVERYONE has a bad race, a bad run, a bad experience. Why am I letting this define me? I keep going over it and over it in my head
and the answer is to just get out there and do it. I need to get rid of this mental block in my head and find that determination again.. does anyone have any suggestions? I have 6 weeks to a half marathon and the most I've run is 40 minutes. Grrrr


Frustrated.